Just BEE

It was 1998 and a typical dreary day in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  My older two daughters were around the ages of two and four. Once again I was stuck on the couch dealing with a debilitating fatigue and muscle weakness. I had a hard time even taking care of the basic needs of my little girls.  This was before I knew I had an autoimmune condition so part of me just thought I was being lazy.  What I did know however was that I didn't have the strength to even lift myself off the couch so I decided to make the best of the situation and meditate on the Lord. 

This time as I was meditating on him, three images came to my mind.  I saw a spider, a grasshopper, and a bee.  I felt like the Lord asked me which I'd rather be like.  I thought about it and realized a spider just kills pesky insects. A grasshopper destroys crops.  A bee however gets to provide something good for society and make honey.  I told the Lord I would rather be like the bee.  I then felt like he said, "Bees lie dormant for a time before they get to make honey."  I did not realize this about bees so I did a little research and sure enough, I discovered that the baby larvae bees lie dormant in the honey comb before they are mature enough to come out and start making honey.

The Lord began to teach me some valuable life lessons that day. Leaning back and resting in God's love for me, I began to realize his love was perfect and complete; There was nothing I could do to make him love me less and there was nothing I could do to make him love me more. God's main goal for my life was to perfect me in that love. Everything else was secondary. Unless I first received his love, then I did not have much love to give to others. And so my journey to greater serenity and intimacy with the Lord began!